Here are plans B, C, D, E, F, G, and H

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So, I gotta be honest. I’m pretty sure if you took an x-ray of my abdomen right now, you would find this:

Tomorrow night is the night that prayers will materialize for better of for worse. I go up to Louisville to meet with the Commission on Ministry and they’ll decide exactly what they think of my crazy ideas of going to seminary and getting ordained. Maybe this is what boyfriends feel like when they know they’re going to propose to their girlfriends. I’m laying it all out and praying that I have the g
race to handle whatever comes back at me. (And to make it more awesome, I could get a ‘yes’, a ‘no’, or a various range of ‘maybe, ifs’)

Someday I will laugh at how much this messed with my nerves. But until then, I’ve reassured myself by listing some alternate career plans I can pursue if they give me a big fat ‘no’ , and for you today, ordered them from most to least likely.

1) Trucker. I know how to drive a stick Burgundy Semi Truckphoto © 2008 Thomas | more info (via: Wylio)
and I look good in hats. Isn’t that most of what it takes to be a trucker? Plus, my Papa Dale was a trucker, so it’s in my blood.

2) Airline Hostess.  My senior year in high school, I was three votes away from winning “best smile.” The girl that did win is now an airline hostess. I think that’s my cue.

3) Funny-things-on-internet-finder for the Today Show. I’m pretty sure the Today Show has someone on payroll who’s only job is the click through StumbleUpon to find the most entertaining/poignant things on the internet to air on the show. I think I would be awesome at this job. 

4) Professional house-sitter. Not only do these gigs sometimes pay really well, but if I found gigs year-round, I’d never have to pay my own rent or utilities.

5) Open a consulting firm for consulting firms. I’ve never quite understood how consulting firms stay in business, but they do, and really well. I’ve never met a poor ‘consultant.’ So if everybody needs their advice, who’s around to give them advice? (this girl!)

6) Apple Salesperson. Even though I hate going to the mall and can’t sell things very well, I never miss a chance to pop into the Apple Store. And with how happy all the employees seem, either they pay ridiculously well, or there’s some sort of happy juice in the water. Either way, sign me up!

7) Produce and star in my own TV show. Think 30 Rock meets Vicar of Dibley. If Tina Fey only knew the monsters she was creating when she wrote Bossypants. Does anyone know how to contact Lorne Michaels?

8) Gold-digger. I love feminism and all that jazz, but as long as old rich men fall for it, I think gold digging should be considered a legitimate career choice. (but notice it was last on my list)

Ultimately, this post is just a long-winded way of saying: please pray for me! Please pray for the Commission on Ministry. And please pray that we all can listen for the Holy Spirit. (and please pray that I won’t spill the bottle of Pepto Bismol I’ll be nursing all day)

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