An Open Letter to the Guy or Gal that Stole My Debit Card



Maybe you’ll find this by taking the time to google that name on that debit card that you found (how?) and then tried to use, unsuccessfully, at two local gas stations. I wish I could take credit for that, but it was all BB&T fraud department. I was highly impressed with them and would recommend them for any future banking needs you might have.

I’ll try and not make any assumptions about the desperation and character deficiencies required to commit such an act. Maybe you are that figure we talked about in my college ethics class that had a hungry family to feed. Or maybe you have an expensive addiction to support. I’m naive. And frankly, I like being naive in that way. I read enough articles to know that this is a hard country to be poor in. Like I said, no assumptions.

But I hope you’ll be happy to know that because of you, I had to get in my car and drive to the bank to withdraw the $30 that I hope will get me through the weekend. Did you know that my bank was having a customer appreciation day and giving out a free lunch to anyone that came in? Was that your plan all along, to help me get some free barbecue (with Cheetos and a Diet Coke!)? You silly thief, you!

So here’s wishing you the best, whatever that might be. I got a free lunch and you didn’t get a cent of my teensy checking account. You could’ve gotten a good laugh if you saw the available balance. Let me know how I can help in the future, okay?




One thought on “An Open Letter to the Guy or Gal that Stole My Debit Card

  1. Someone hacked my debit account one. And used it to purchase Lifelock. Needless to say, that shows just how good that particular identity theft protection company is. The ridiculousness of it did make me laugh, though.

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